Source. Mod Half Life 2 Scripting. Things The Bible Bans, But You Do Anyway. Category Atheism. Tags atheism, Atheist, Atheists, Baptist, Belief, Beliefs, bible, bible fail, bless, blog, Book of Leviticus, Christian, Christianity, Creation, double standard, fables, Freedom, God, healing, Humor, hypocrisy, intelligent design, intolerance, Jesus, Monicks, morality, prayer, rapture, religion, society, superstition. By Sam Greenspan at 1. Points. Here are 1. Bible. All quotes are translations from the New American Standard Bible, but, because Im actually trying to maintain serious journalistic integrity here, I cross referenced several other translations to make sure I wasnt missing the point. Round haircuts. See you in Hell, Beatles andor kids with bowl cuts, surfer cuts or my favorite butt cuts. Leviticus 1. 9 2. You shall not round off the side growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard. Football. At least, the pure version of football, where you play with a pigskin. The modern synthetic footballs are ugly and slippery anyways. Leviticus 1. 1 8, which is discussing pigs, reads You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses they are unclean to you. And youre doubly breaking that if you wake up, eat some sausage then go throw around the football. Or go to the county fair and enter a greased pig catching contest. Fortune telling. Before you call a 9. Leviticus 1. 9 3. Do not turn to mediums or spiritists do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God. The penalty for thatCheck Leviticus 2. As for the person who turns to mediums and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My face against that person and will cut him off from among his people. Seems like a lifetime of exile is a pretty harsh penalty for talking to Zoltar. Pulling out. The Bible doesnt get too much into birth control its clearly pro populating but, back when it was written, no one really anticipated the condom or the sponge, so those dont get specific bans. SourceMod SM is an HL2 mod which allows you to write modifications for HalfLife 2 with the Small scripting language. Usually quitting a job is relatively mundane you might be nervous about it, but it generally wont involve yelling, profanity, or other fireworks. But oc. But pulling out does. Cleaner For Bunn Coffee Makers more. One of the most famous sexual oriented Bible verses the one thats used as anti masturbation rhetoric is actually anti pulling out. Its Genesis 3. 8 9 1. Ragequit Holidays' title='Ragequit Holidays' />Onan knew that the offspring would not be his so when he went in to his brothers wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord so He took his life also. Yep pull out and get smote. Thats harsh. Tattoos. No tattoos. Leviticus 1. You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves I am the Lord. Not even a little butterfly on your ankle. Or Thug Life across your abdomen. Or even, fittingly enough, a cross. Polyester, or any other fabric blends. The Bible doesnt want you to wear polyester. Not just because it looks cheap. Its sinfully unnatural. Leviticus 1. 9 1. You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together. Check the tag on your shirt right now. Didnt realize you were mid sin at this exact second, did you Unless you checked the tag by rolling off your neighbors wife while you two were having anal sex in the middle of robbing a blind guy. Then your Lycra spandex blend is really the least of your problems. Divorce. The Bible is very clear on this one No divorcing. You cant do it. Because when you marry someone, according to Mark 1. And, Mark 1. 0 9 reads, What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Mark gets even more hardcore about it a few verses later, in Mark 1. And He said to them, Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery. Serial Plugin Kodak. Letting people without testicles into church. Whether youve been castrated or lost one or two balls to cancer isnt important. The Bible doesnt get that specific. It just says you cant pray. Deuteronomy 2. 3 1 reads this is the Gods Word translation, which spells it out better, A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the Lord. Oh, and the next verse says that if youre a bastard, the child of a bastard or even have a great great great great great great great grandchild of a bastard, you cant come to church or synagogue either. Deuteronomy 2. 3 2 reads, No one of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the Lord none of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the assembly of the Lord. Wearing gold. Timothy 2 9 doesnt like your gold necklace at all. Or your pearl necklace. Air Anderson Conditioner Installing Window Window Insert. Or any clothes youre wearing that you didnt get from Forever 2. Old Navy or H M. Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments. Shellfish. Leviticus 1. But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you. And shellfish is right in that wheelhouse. Leviticus 1. 1 bans a TON of animals from being eaten its THE basis for Kosher law beyond shellfish and pig, it also says you cant eat camel, rock badger, rabbit, eagle, vulture, buzzard, falcon, raven, crow, ostrich, owl, seagull, hawk, pelican, stork, heron, bat, winged insects that walk on four legs unless they have joints to jump with like grasshoppers, bear, mole, mouse, lizard, gecko, crocodile, chameleon and snail. Sorry if that totally ruins your plans to go to a rock badger eat off this weekend. Your wife defending your life in a fight by grabbing your attackers genitals. No joke. Deuteronomy actually devotes two verses to this exact scenario Deuteronomy 2. If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand you shall not show pity. Thats impossible to misinterpret. Ladies, if your husband is getting mugged, make sure to kick the mugger in the pills. Do not do the grip and squeeze no matter what Miss Congeniality might advise. Or your hand needs to be cut off. As a final note, I know that nine of these 1. Old Testament, which Christianity doesnt necessarily adhere to as law. To which I say If youre going to ignore the section of Leviticus that bans about tattoos, pork, shellfish, round haircuts, polyester and football, how can you possibly turn around and quote Leviticus 1. You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female it is an abomination. But thats me trying to introduce logic to religious fanaticism or, at least, trying to counter some mix of ignorance, bigotry and narcissism with logic. And I should probably know better.